Welcome to my Blog

This section is where I share my personal thoughts from my journey in life, past and present, which hopefully will encourage and help you in some small way. I don't profess to be an expert or authority on anything, just an everyday person living life the best way I can; sharing what I have learned and still learning, like everyone else. I will try to be as honest (even though I am making myself vulnerable which can be painful) about how I feel, and what I've learned or been thinking. If you want to leave any comment, please may I ask you to be considerate and respectful. For anyone to share things like these things is a risk, but one I'm prepared to take if someone can relate and it helps them. I have struggled in life when others have not been there to listen, care or help and I hate the thought of others feeling like that. I think if more people were honest instead of us all wearing these masks, we won't feel the need to think our lives don't match up to others.

NOTE: This is not a place for debate or argument, so I won't respond should it arise. Please feel free to look through the archives and ask if you would like to be added to the list about any updates. Thank you. Jenny Wren.

New Beginnings

First of all........

No one is evidently looking at my page, but, that's okay! I find it very cathartic to put down in writing the twists and turns in my life whilst being as honest I as possibly can. You see, in the past being honest has not always been the best policy as I have been at times very naive and trusted people with my deepest thoughts and fears; this has led to abuse and deep hurt by being betrayed, but, by God's grace and love I am learning how to let all those hurts go, I am being healed in heart, soul and mind little by little, day by day, so I can say I forgive people, but will be more cautious in who I do trust; so nothing happens that we can't use as a stepping stone to growth and to learn from them, if we let them that is.

So, where am I now? Thankfully in a better place mentally and emotionally even though still struggling with health issues.

2025 was one of the worst yet one of the best too? What do I mean?

Leaving a church after 3 years leaving people who were curious, guessing what could be the reason and through no fault of theirs came up with all kinds of reasons, all of which were so far removed from the truth. So, what was the truth?

At the end of 2024 I had gone through so much emotional turmoil and tried to fix things and soldier on, as is my usual M.O. Always the 'fixer' hiding how I really feel. At the time I was okay in church, facilitating a lovely home group with lovely people who I saw as my church family; on church rota for all kinds of things, ready to commence a course for Lay Preaching, so what happened? God was about to show me what was really going on inside of me.

I will never forget preparing a study on Revelation and came to the Church at Ephesus; when it came to the point where Jesus said to that church 'you have left your first love' Boom! it hit me so hard with a conviction, I just knew the Holy Spirit was gently reminding me 'what are you doing, why are you doing what you do, where am I in all of this?' Questions and a lot of soul searching followed until I knew to carry on without examining these questions was not something I could do or wanted to do, I couldn't ignore it.

Such a long process wouldn't be fair to put you through reading all the details and, some of the things I encountered are too private and precious to share. After a personal health scare in March 2025, family health problems to contend with I was totally reliant on the Lord for strength to get through, Jenny couldn't fix these things!

After laying everything down concerning church life, trying to fix everything and everyone, it was just me trusting God could hear and answer my prayers to show me the way through, and He is.

I don't believe there are such things as coincidences with God, He allows situations and people come into our lives for a purpose, all I had and still have to do is look and listen. Through one such circumstance I had opportunity for therapy which I had always looked on as 'against trusting God' but now realise that He can and will use things and people to show us what He needs to.

After weeks of heartbreak, tears and revelation I finally began to understand who's and why's and where I was in my faith and life. 70 years old and finally learning the meaning of life, why I am here, who I am and more. I am learning about relationships and love, something I have always found impossible to grasp and receive; how could I truly love God, myself and others if I didn't know how to receive it?

This is just the start of this chapter of my life, perhaps the final chapter? All I know is I want to live the rest of my life knowing God's love for me, how to receive it from Him and others around me and of course how to love others. This is my life as it is now, past is past, can't change it, regret it or hold on to all the negative things, events etc....Finally let go!

If you want to keep following my story, it just might help you I don't know but you are more than welcome to walk with me.

"Can you handle the truth?"

If you ever watched the film A Few Good Men you may remember Jack Nicholson yells at Tom Cruise in a military court. Cruise wants Nicholson to tell the truth about things he is keeping secret, but Nicholson believes that people say they want the truth but they would rather remain ignorant because they don't want to face up to things they have to deal with. Nicholson yells "you can't handle the truth".

This made me think, once we hear or see a thing we can't un-hear or un-see it, that it may command a response we are not prepared to accept. How many of us have said to someone "come on tell the truth" only when we hear it we can't/don't like it or accept it?

And, how many times did we think we knew someone only to find out they are not what we think?

Well, most of my own life I believe people have thought they knew or understood me; perhaps that's because I have hidden things I didn't want people to see or judge me for, so, doesn't everyone pretend? I believe we do.

I have a way of hiding my feelings, if I have been treated badly, and done this all of my 70 years. Partly because I was brought up to just get on with things; I was never able to tell people who had hurt me just how I felt so I would just smile and pretend I was okay. Didn't talk about it to others just was jolly Jenny, doesn't let things get her down. Now, I have found a new freedom in being just who I am. There are people who just pretend they have no problems in life, just want fun, laughter, to keep busy, don't talk about things, "don't bring me down with your problems" and many more I could mention. Could it be if I am honest they won't see me in the same light as before? That has been my worry, but not any more.

Today I was very honest with a lovely friend and it felt good, but I had to fight the feeling that I was bringing her down with too much information about myself, but I needed for myself to get it out there....the truth. But what I have thought since is however they view me, I'm okay with it, because I am okay with me.

I don't like being too serious and want people to feel good after they have been with me, but if I want to know who my true friends are it will be interesting to see "who can handle the truth" and how they deal with that. True friends will accept me or you the way you are, warts and all. I want to enjoy my life, to laugh, appreciate the things I have been blessed with, not dwell on the past, forgive those who have been unkind to me and move on. To live being kind, compassionate and understanding of others (we all have baggage) we are all just trying to get through life and we need each other to be kind to ourselves and one another.

https://youtu.be/tbsfc6Wn2DU?si=N4H9qSY718PjmUjZ

So, next time someone is trying to share how they feel, they need it, listen to them, care about them; don't just brush them off because you don't want to be 'brought down' by them, they may be hurting, they may be crying out for help; those who may aggravate/annoy you, they all have a story. And, the next time someone is rude/offensive/critical of you and you can't let it wash over you, be truthful, let them handle the truth. Don't let things fester and build up; holding grudges and offences only stays on the inside and cripples. Beautiful things like mercy, love, kindness and forgiveness all lead to an inner peaceful life. So, speak your truth in love and let others handle it how they like.